Executive Overview
The indie-rock landscape is perpetually shaped by geography, displacement, and the subsequent psychological shifts that occur when artists uproot their lives. For Smush—the evocative, guitar-driven project helmed by Emily Borrowman and Atley King—relocating from the Pacific Northwest haven of Vancouver to the relentless, high-pressure concrete grid of Brooklyn, New York, wasn’t merely a change of scenery. It was a catalyst for transformation.
With the announcement of their upcoming full-length album, i’ll always wish,, Smush returns as an expanded, fully realized four-piece outfit. Alongside core founding members Borrowman (bass and vocals) and King (guitars), the lineup now officially includes Rudi Neubrander on drums and Wilson Woods on keys. This newly minted quartet dynamic injects a muscular yet delicate density into the band’s trademark sound, bridging the gap between dreamy introspection and visceral guitar-rock architecture.
This new LP arrives on the heels of a prolific period for the band, following their 2024 debut album if you were here i’d be home now and February’s self-released covers EP, standards. That six-track EP offered a revealing look into the band’s sonic DNA, reinterpreting beloved cuts through a gauzy, shoegaze-tinted lens with tracks originally penned by Norah Jones, Owl City, and Field Medic.
However, i’ll always wish,, dives entirely into original, highly personal territory. Centered heavily around themes of girlhood, grief, and lost innocence, the album operates as an intentional, direct conversation with young female listeners—an artistic choice that Borrowman describes as central to the band’s ethos. Recorded with Jackson Baker of witches exist in Austin, Texas, the album tackles dark emotional landscapes with disarming vulnerability, perhaps best exemplified by the single "milkweed butterfly"—a track written from the harrowing perspective of a child grappling with uncontextualized anxiety and depression.
As Smush prepares to take these new songs on an extensive tour supporting she’s green, alongside a string of headlining dates across the West Coast and Midwest throughout November, the band stands at a crucial juncture in their career. This feature explores the journey behind i’ll always wish,,, dissecting the band’s relocation, their expanding sonic architecture, the thematic weight of their lyrics, and what the future holds for one of indie rock’s most promising emerging acts.
Detailed Chronology: From Vancouver Roots to Brooklyn Evolution
To understand the emotional and sonic gravity of i’ll always wish,,, one must trace the trajectory of Smush from their early days in Vancouver to their current incarnation in the boroughs of New York City.
The Pacific Northwest Beginnings
In the vibrant, rain-soaked indie community of Vancouver, Emily Borrowman and Atley King initially laid the groundwork for what Smush would become. Operating as a tight-knit creative unit, the duo developed an intuitive musical shorthand. Their 2024 debut album, if you were here i’d be home now, introduced listeners to their world: a blend of raw emotional candor, jangly instrumentation, and atmospheric textures that immediately caught the attention of underground tastemakers.
Yet, creative stagnation often looms in familiar surroundings. Seeking fresh perspectives, new challenges, and a total disruption of their daily routines, Borrowman and King made the pivotal decision to pack up their lives and relocate across the continent to Brooklyn, New York.
The Brooklyn Upheaval and Lineup Expansion
Arriving in Brooklyn meant confronting a starkly different pace of life. The sensory overload, cultural velocity, and inherent isolation of moving to a megalopolis profoundly impacted their songwriting. Rather than retreating inward entirely, Borrowman and King sought to expand their sonic palette by broadening their creative circle.
For the recording and conception of i’ll always wish,,, the duo transitioned from a duo into a dynamic four-piece ensemble. Drummer Rudi Neubrander and keyboardist Wilson Woods were brought into the fold, transforming Smush from a studio-centric project into a formidable live band capable of massive dynamic shifts. The addition of keys introduced lush harmonic underpinnings, while Neubrander’s precision percussion anchored the band’s wandering, shoegaze-adjacent arrangements.

The Interlude: standards and the Art of the Cover
Before pulling back the curtain on their next major artistic statement, Smush treated fans to an unexpected detour in February with the release of their self-released covers EP, standards.
Serving as a creative palate cleanser, the EP featured six meticulously reworked shoegaze interpretations of songs that spanned disparate musical universes. From the smooth vocal jazz-pop of Norah Jones to the nostalgic synth-pop innocence of Owl City and the earthy bedroom-folk of Field Medic, standards demonstrated Smush’s unique ability to dissolve genre boundaries. By running these tracks through distorted amplifiers, shimmering chorus pedals, and emotive vocal deliveries, the band signaled to their audience that any song—regardless of its origin—could be absorbed into the immersive, melancholic world of Smush.
The Texas Sessions
With the new lineup solidified and the songwriting process for the upcoming LP completed in their new New York environment, the band traveled south to Austin, Texas. Working alongside producer Jackson Baker of witches exist, Smush hunkered down in the studio to capture the raw, organic energy that would define i’ll always wish,,. Baker’s production style allowed the band’s new arrangements to breathe, balancing the pristine clarity of the vocals with the warm, analog crunch of overdriven guitars and atmospheric synth pads.
Supporting Context & Thematic Deep Dive
While the physical relocation from Vancouver to Brooklyn provided the backdrop for i’ll always wish,,, the emotional core of the record digs deep into the universal complexities of growing up, looking backward, and confronting internal pain.
Girlhood, Grief, and Intentional Audience Connection
At the heart of Smush’s songwriting is an unapologetic dedication to exploring the female experience. In an industry where male-centric narratives are often treated as universal while women’s stories are frequently pigeonholed as niche, Borrowman consciously subverts this dynamic.
"That’s something that I am pretty intentional with in our music: singing to a girl audience and singing about my experience," Borrowman explains.
This intentionality transforms i’ll always wish,, into a sanctuary for listeners navigating the tumultuous waters of identity formation. The album confronts topics that society often glosses over—specifically, the complex intersection of girlhood, lingering grief, and the sudden, often painful loss of innocence. Rather than romanticizing youth, Borrowman’s lyrics examine it with clear-eyed realism, acknowledging that childhood and adolescence are frequently marked by hidden struggles.
The Psychological Weight of "milkweed butterfly"
Perhaps no track encapsulates this thematic weight better than the album’s centerpiece, "milkweed butterfly."
According to Atley King, the song was written deliberately from a deeply vulnerable vantage point: that of a child experiencing anxiety and depression with zero vocabulary, emotional framework, or societal tools to understand or contextualize those feelings.
Musically and lyrically, "milkweed butterfly" captures the suffocating confusion of early mental health struggles—the feeling of carrying an insurmountable weight without knowing its name. By channeling this perspective, Smush avoids cliché melodrama, offering instead a cathartic, empathetic exploration of youthful alienation that resonates long after the final chord fades.

Official Tracklist and Visual Aesthetics
The physical and digital presentation of i’ll always wish,, mirrors its sonic interior: raw, evocative, and deeply personal.
i’ll always wish,, Tracklist
The nine-track sequence flows like a narrative arc, moving through stages of mourning, reflection, and quiet acceptance:
- "mourning dove"
- "john dearly"
- "you’d stay"
- "scissors"
- "is this why"
- "milkweed butterfly"
- "u too"
- "dog song"
- "true"
Artwork Analysis
The accompanying album artwork for i’ll always wish,, reinforces the record’s nostalgic yet melancholic aesthetic. Utilizing muted tones, striking textural contrasts, and an intimate visual composition, the cover acts as a visual thesis statement for the music contained within—hinting at themes of domesticity, memory, and emotional excavation.
Future Outlook: Touring and Beyond
As the release date for i’ll always wish,, approaches, Smush is wasting no time translating their newly expanded studio sound to the live stage.
The Fall Tour Routing
The band is currently out on an extensive United States tour, providing direct support for she’s green on select dates, before launching into a series of highly anticipated headlining shows across the West Coast and Midwest throughout November.
This rigorous touring schedule marks a significant step forward for the band, allowing Neubrander and Woods to fully integrate into the live dynamic and road-test the intricate arrangements of the new material. Fans attending the upcoming November dates can expect a masterclass in dynamic tension—sweeping from hushed, intimate vocal-and-keyboard passages to towering, wall-of-sound guitar climaxes.
International Horizons
While domestic touring is currently keeping the band in high gear across North America, international fans are already clamoring for dates overseas. As of press time, no official UK or European live dates have been announced yet. However, given the growing global footprint of their streaming audience and the universal appeal of their emotive indie-rock soundwaves, international bookings seem less of an "if" and more of a "when."
What Lies Ahead for Smush
Smush’s evolution from a bi-coastal bedroom project to a dynamic, touring four-piece illustrates the power of creative reinvention. By refusing to rest on the laurels of their 2024 debut or hide behind the safety net of covers, Borrowman, King, Neubrander, and Woods have forged a distinct path forward.
i’ll always wish,, stands as a testament to the fact that growing up doesn’t mean losing touch with the ghosts of your past; rather, it means finding the courage to turn around, look them in the eye, and sing them into existence.
